Tuesday, January 31, 2012

So, what's your opinion, doc?

Yesterday, we were told that our second cycle of IVF has also not been successful. One question rebounded from most of our friends and families when we called them to inform about this sad news ; " Do you want to consult another doctor?"

You will meet this question in many avatars:
"My friend/cousin/brother/relative had been to this doctor, and was successful in the treatment"
"This stream of medicine is much more proven, reliable and established than yours"
"This doctor is very experienced and knows all.."
.... and so on an so forth.

I personally have firm belief that we should stick to one doctor for your treatment. And yet, if not for doctor hopping, we would not have found out our issue itself! :) Ironical, isn't it? But here's what i make of it.

  • In the Initial days, when we only know that there is a problem, and we don't know what it is, i feel that it is 'more the merrier' :). Different diagnostics, as long it is not "for the sake of it" diagnostics, is good for us to know that is wrong. But then, "how do you know that it is not "for the sake of it"? I think that's where our involvement comes in. Medical information is available freely on the net ( and if you are here, reading this, you are familiar with Google.) We should not take the inputs from the Dr. at face value, and we should definitely do our re-searching online and also discuss this with few friends to get their opinion.

  • Once we identify the problem, and we start looking for a specific solution to this, stick to one doctor. Do your research beforehand to know our doctor and his/ her performance beforehand, and in the initial days, monitor the interaction. Here are few things that i found very symptomatic of a Dr patient relation:
  • >>> If you find that the doctor is not accessible, either you have to jump through 15 hoops to speak to him, or if you need a appointment schedule to be set 2-3 weeks in advance, i suggest, you start looking out. Accessibility is key, especially if you have any sensitive issues.
  • >>> If the Dr continuously says "All is Well" and continuously asks you to just keep trying, it is better to get another doctor's opinion.

  • Once the treatment starts, many times, we will find doubting whether this course that we are taking is correct or not. It might be a good idea, to get a second opinion at this time. Be very clear on what we are trying to do. We are not searching for a new treatment, and when we go to the new doctor, just tell him / her that we are only trying to validate our current treatment based on the existing diagnostics and patient information.

And, Believe in Serendipity.
Here's what happened to us..
  • We started our consultation with a gyneac early enough. The Dr. was very accessible and was very clear on her advice. But it didn't look like we were going anywhere (Point 2B above, crossed! :) )
  • We spoke to a friend who had the same Dr, and was going through same issues, and she asked us to consult another doctor. Now, this Dr., thought looking at it in a slightly different angle, was very tough to meet ( We would have to get appointments one month in advance - point 1A above, crossed! :) ), so we decided to give this Dr, a slip. ( but not before we wasted a year or so with him :( )
  • Our family recommended us to another Dr, who identified the problem, and suggested a small surgery to resolve it. Now we knew what the issue was.
And purely out of luck, my friend was getting his baby born in Dr. GHP's hospital ( who is our current doctor.). When we heard that we could walk in and meet the Dr, and she would meet you irrespective of the time of the day ( or night ) as long as you were waiting there, we decided to give it a go. 

About a year or so of her care later, and two failed cycles later, we have been asked many times, do you want to change doctor? I have not really had a motivation to do it - for cpl of reasons - she is extremely accessible, and all her diagnostic, seems to be on the right track based on online forums. And yet, we still did consult yet another famous hospital for validation, and the direction and treatments were validated by that  Dr. too. I guess, we will go with this Dr for some more time....

Fingers Crossed for next steps :)


  1. hang in there Jay and Aps...am sure you must be getting this a lot too...Patience certainly pays...am very sure you guys will have a happy ending after this...our well wishes and prayers are with you...

  2. Thanks Anusha.... yup, we are learning to live together with these things :)