Tuesday, September 06, 2011

The Days of Anxiety

Every time somebody asks me the question "Do you have any siblings?" - I have always replied back with a smile "Well, my parents saw how i am turning out, and they realized that having one is enough for them!! :)"

I am sure that it is true, but 4 years back, this didn't stop my wife and i from attempting to have our own kid.  The kid turning out to be like me is not enough incentive for us not to add on to an already hopping, jumping population. But then, there seemed to be a problem. This kid was just refusing to be.

Having had got tonnes of forwarded emails about how stress affected everything from the growth of finger nails to the  color of the hair, we decided not to wait until the stars align and seek professional help. Today, when we  look back at what we did, it seems glaringly clear to us that this is where we made our first mistake. Anyways,  in all our naivete, we chose to consult a gynecologist. 

"There is no significant problem, ma. Nothing to worry about. It's just two years of your marriage - go ahead and keep trying" was her advice. Probably lulled by the sound of what exactly we wanted to hear, we did that. Months went past, nothing else happened. At one point, we crossed paths with someone who put her hand onto her chin and said "hmmmm.. shouldn't you try another doctor?" And we met a famous new dr - Dr. Kurien. This turned out to be even more interesting :)

It was extremely difficult to get an appointment with Dr. Kurien. You had to book about a month or so ahead if you wanted an appointment. With him, the advice remained the same - what did change was the time frame between two visits to the Dr. We moved on from being "recently married" to "oh yes, we are married" time-lines.

Meanwhile, life at home was becoming more strained and funny at the same time. There were moments of sudden remembrance of the days of the month causing hurried unexplained departures from friends' parties. There were days of "relaxation" and deliberate staying away from fights - marking this fight to be picked up on another day! Now when we look back at that, it's always with a smile.

My work decided to relocate me to the United States, meanwhile. Since "there was nothing significantly wrong with us and we should continue to try", we also thought a change of scene would do us good. I flew in to US a month ahead of when i would take my wife also there. During this one month, my dear wife resigned from her employment and decided to spend one month of vacation at her native place.  During this stay, her parents wanted her to meet their family Doctor -  a certain Dr. Vasanthi. That's when the news broke!

My wife was diagnosed with a situation called Endometriosis. Dr. Vasanthi adviced Laparoscopic surgery which would remove about 70% of the condition and then advised us to go ahead and try. So we went ahead with the laparoscopic surgery.

Few days after this, my friend called me to tell me a good news - his wife was to deliver their kid that night. Completely thrilled, my wife and I went to the hospital to keep him company and welcome the new born to this world. That's when we first saw this hospital called Prashant Clinic - Prashant Fertility Research Center, to be precise. We decided to consult the resident dr Dr. Geetha Hari Priya at the PRashant Clinic just for a second opinion.

If you have never been to Prashant Hospital, what i mention would seem scary, or probably funny. This doctor had about 100 people waiting to see her, at about 10:00 PM. As our visits became more frequent, we realized that was not a one night issue - the crowd exists every day, but Dr GHP, as she is referred to, will consult everyone waiting in the hall, irrespective of the time. Our patience was rewarded after a two hour wait - around midnight.

One look at our file and Dr. GHP simple mentioned "Oh this is stage 4 Endometriosis - the only way you can conceive is through an IVF procedure. "

We looked at each other. We had tickets to travel to US in about 28 hours from them. What should we do? Should we travel or no?

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