Thursday, July 07, 2005

Black and White Memories

It is about 3:00 AM.

Sleep eludes me. I had bought a photo frame from Odyssey yesterday. An interesting frame that can hold 9 small photos within itself as a collage. And i have filled the same with couple of my old photos.

Now, as i write this, 6 of them are filled. Faded black and white pictures smile at me from them. Frozen moments from the life of those who are so close to me. My grandfather holding a very very young me in his arms. Small Me and my brothers posing with huge flying glasses. My grandmother caught unaware during one of her busy day routine. My uncle trying to make the baby me look at the camera. My mother in her early teens with her friend. ( I have to struggle to make this out from the faded photo). My grandmother and her sister, much younger than the current energetic lady that she is :), and much much more beautiful than many girls of this age.

These form the majority of the people who give me colour to my life. Who paints my life with the colours of nava-rasa. Who taught me to smile, to hug, to love, to learn, to fall and to get up and start walking again.

A very young and a very curious me (i think i was in my 4th of 5th std) had a doubt to be clarified from my grandmother one evening.

"Ammamme, how do people get AIDS?"
(Ammamma is the malayalam word for grandmother on mother's side - Amma's Amma :) )

After moments of thought marked with a smile, that beautiful lady replied
"Thonniya pola nadannaal AIDS varum"
(Literary Translation: If you walk without following any rules, the way you want to, you would get AIDS" What the reply means "If you live your life without any rules, you would get AIDS"

I bent myself at my waist sideways and took couple of steps, walking 'the way i want to'
"Ingane nadannalo?" :) ( Would i get it if i walk like this? :) )

She had a hearty laugh. The laugh of a person whose life is full of sunshine, cheer and happiness. Years later, that source of happiness is still as full as it ever was. I draw from it everytime i want inspiration.

And i live.



  1. All we have gained by our belief
    If a life of doubt diversified by faith,
    For our faith diversified by doubt;
    We call the chessboard white
    We call it black.


    It is something really amazing that you remember something this innocuous a conversation from almost two decades ago.

    The meaning of the above verses by Browning is a counter argument to "black and white memories".

    The uselessness and the fierce impact of these memories are what makes them a part of us.

    You are one of those lucky people who believe and have faith.

    In memories; in life; in love and in joy.

    The above lines are your usual "half empty-half full" outlook to life.

    Your black-and-white memories are the colours of your life.

    "The laugh of a person whose life is full of sunshine, cheer and happiness."

    Great lines. Try finding sunshine on a cloudy night.

  2. " Try finding sunshine on a cloudy night."

    Don't try.

    Remember that the sunshine loses it's value if not for cloudy nights.

    I don't yearn for a life full of sunshine and cheer. Nor have i got one. In fact, i have one in which cloudy nights are longer and darker and more violent than most of the others', But then that makes the sunshine in my life much more cheerful, valued and liked ... :)


    As crazy as ever.

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. Am slightly lost.

    You might want to be more lenient to this dufus.

    Surprise for what?


    Guy with the conical cap facing the wall.

  5. Alrite, Agnostia, gotcha the surprise that u were mentioning about :)

    "Come check out the cafe inside Landmark or just the literature and Science fiction section in Landmark at Spencer's Plaza - a girl with glasses, she would have a denim handbag, kind of ok to look at. Nothing grand."

    "She would be there Friday to Sunday, from 3.30 to 5.30 PM. If you are lucky enough, you would meet "charming agnostic"."

    "I am planning to make the rendezvous easier for Mr me here - the girl would wear a gold-plated watch on her left hand; one gold ring on her left hand. two on her right. unpainted nails - toe and hands both. nails on both hands."

    Now it's gonna get really scary. The man in the black raincoat, and a dripping black hat with wide brim shadowing his face, is gonna be there. And beware if he looks at you, for his targets rarely survive... :)

    About fitting crosswords clues about me, look into the comments on the blog dedicated to the ghost who sweats.


    Biff. Pow. Thud. Ouch!

  6. And Agnostia, i don;t know if u watch vintaeg malayalam movies. If you do, you might remember a classic scene out of the priyadarshan-srinivasan-mohanlal wacko movie called akkare akkare akkare.

    The two "Indian CIDs" are sent to US on a mission and they are to meet the embassy guy on the airport with a code. The code is:

    They would be asked "Saadhanam Kayyilundo?" and they have to reply
    "Saadhanam Kayilundu"

    Would that be our code too ? :)

    Saadhanam Kayyilundu.

  7. Sadhanam Kayillundu.

    Let me make it more easier for you.

    Hair - black, chest-length. Half-pony.

    Would wear a gold-chain, and a bead-strapped slippers.

    dress - grey salwar kameez with plain band gold border.

    And psst. before that check out the latest entries in my blog.

    And please do comment on them too.

  8. " Try finding sunshine on a cloudy night."

    Don't try.

    Remember that the sunshine loses it's value if not for cloudy nights.

    man that was impressive...

  9. Wow! Words that flow from the heart. You're blessed to have such a joyful soul for grandmother pal :-)

  10. Prakash - Thanks for the comment. Yes, i do believe i am blessed to be surrounded by great folks, Including you. Thanks for being there!