So, what's your opinion, doc?

Yesterday, we were told that our second cycle of IVF has also not been successful. One question rebounded from most of our friends and families when we called them to inform about this sad news ; " Do you want to consult another doctor?"

You will meet this question in many avatars:
"My friend/cousin/brother/relative had been to this doctor, and was successful in the treatment"
"This stream of medicine is much more proven, reliable and established than yours"
"This doctor is very experienced and knows all.."
.... and so on an so forth.

I personally have firm belief that we should stick to one doctor for your treatment. And yet, if not for doctor hopping, we would not have found out our issue itself! :) Ironical, isn't it? But here's what i make of it.

• In the Initial days, when we only know that there is a problem, and we don't know what it is, i feel that it is 'more the merrier' :). Different diagnostics, as long it is not "for the sake of it" diagnostics, is good for us to know that is wrong. But then, "how do you know that it is not "for the sake of it"? I think that's where our involvement comes in. Medical information is available freely on the net ( and if you are here, reading this, you are familiar with Google.) We should not take the inputs from the Dr. at face value, and we should definitely do our re-searching online and also discuss this with few friends to get their opinion.

• Once we identify the problem, and we start looking for a specific solution to this, stick to one doctor. Do your research beforehand to know our doctor and his/ her performance beforehand, and in the initial days, monitor the interaction. Here are few things that i found very symptomatic of a Dr patient relation:
• >>> If you find that the doctor is not accessible, either you have to jump through 15 hoops to speak to him, or if you need a appointment schedule to be set 2-3 weeks in advance, i suggest, you start looking out. Accessibility is key, especially if you have any sensitive issues.
• >>> If the Dr continuously says "All is Well" and continuously asks you to just keep trying, it is better to get another doctor's opinion.

• Once the treatment starts, many times, we will find doubting whether this course that we are taking is correct or not. It might be a good idea, to get a second opinion at this time. Be very clear on what we are trying to do. We are not searching for a new treatment, and when we go to the new doctor, just tell him / her that we are only trying to validate our current treatment based on the existing diagnostics and patient information.

And, Believe in Serendipity.

Here's what happened to us..

• We started our consultation with a gyneac early enough. The Dr. was very accessible and was very clear on her advice. But it didn't look like we were going anywhere (Point 2B above, crossed! :) )
• We spoke to a friend who had the same Dr, and was going through same issues, and she asked us to consult another doctor. Now, this Dr., thought looking at it in a slightly different angle, was very tough to meet ( We would have to get appointments one month in advance - point 1A above, crossed! :) ), so we decided to give this Dr, a slip. ( but not before we wasted a year or so with him :( )
• Our family recommended us to another Dr, who identified the problem, and suggested a small surgery to resolve it. Now we knew what the issue was.

And purely out of luck, my friend was getting his baby born in Dr. GHP's hospital ( who is our current doctor.). When we heard that we could walk in and meet the Dr, and she would meet you irrespective of the time of the day ( or night ) as long as you were waiting there, we decided to give it a go. 

About a year or so of her care later, and two failed cycles later, we have been asked many times, do you want to change doctor? I have not really had a motivation to do it - for cpl of reasons - she is extremely accessible, and all her diagnostic, seems to be on the right track based on online forums. And yet, we still did consult yet another famous hospital for validation, and the direction and treatments were validated by that  Dr. too. I guess, we will go with this Dr for some more time....

Fingers Crossed for next steps :)

Farook and Shah Rukh!

I had to blog this :)

Today is my nephew's birthday, and so in the morning, we made the customary call to wish him. During the conversation, i asked him " so are you all ready to wear your new dress and go to school?" ( Some traditions, some memories dont change over time :) ) Unfortunately for him, last night, Kerala Governor M O H Farook passed away, and the schools in the state have apparently declared it a holiday, on this account.

So, when i asked him, i got this sad reply "No, there is no school today-someone passed away last night, and therefore its a holiday"
"Someone passed away? Who?"
"I don't know.. someone did!" came the sad reply from the 10 year old, "i think its there on all the papers also"

"Ok.." I went to google and checked it up - just to see that Farook had passed away. So in all earnestness of letting this young guy know who this "someone" was, i told him "Oh, it is Farook, the Kerala governor"

2 seconds silence.
And then with a lot of trepidation, lot of anxiety and and a lot of fear in his voice came a question "WHO? SHAH RUKH? "

We had to spend half a minute to pacify his anxiety and to get him to know that all the words that end with "Kh" is not Shah rukh! Once he knew it, it was back to "oh, someone passed away!" his life crisis averted ! :)

May "Farook"s soul Rest in Peace!


Post Script: I didn't know this, Farook was the youngest chief minister in India ( URL: malayala manorama, TOI )- He was CM of Pondicherry when he was 29! For all of us who yearn for young blood in politics, he should be a mascot!
( the malayala manorama URL is in malayalam font )

To tell or not to tell? or, the curious case of "I know Jay, and I'm pregnant"

Since the time that we knew that we had to go through the IVF procedure, one question that always kept us thinking was " should we tell others about this?"


Somehow, it seems a little sensitive. And opinions are widely distributed in this regard. But with the wisdom of someone who's been there, done that - here's my recommendation - please do! And here's why....

• It manages anxiety among close family and friends. Peer pressure is no pleasure...
• It helps you to be honest about why you cannot take time for social events - you are going to spend a lot of time at the doctor's anyways
•  It can surprise you with the support you get. Once you open up, you will realize how many people around you has gone through similar situations. 

Once we started opening up, almost every other person knew someone who had gone through this, knows how difficult the time is, and is willing to help; or even more surprisingly for us, how many people around us had actually gone through this. ( thanks to all those friends for their support.... You have no idea how much it matters to us ). You will get doctor reviews, procedural comparisons, medicine notes and so much moral support. That itself is enough to go ahead and open up.
Given the software dev mentality that i have, i like to analyse this to death and categorize this to 4 phases :

• The Deep Sigh phase - This is phase 1. You are having a conv and you hit upon this difficult question of " so what are your family plans?". You stop for two seconds, take a deep sigh, and start " you know what, we are going though an IVF....." 
• The Tilted Head Phase - This is phase 2. You have used up your quota of sighs ( and it doesn't work when you try to :) ), you continue your conversation without stopping, but by tilting your head to one side and having a "this is a difficult topic" face expression.
• The "Oh That!" Phase - No conversation stoppers, just an "oh that! that is because we are going through an IVF..."
• The "You mean you still don't know this? phase - well, you get the idea. by now, probably the radios are announcing your progress in their daily news :)

This opening up business has also given us phenomenally funny moments in our journey. I had a lady friend who was also going through some difficulty in getting pregnant and was taking medical advice. ( She is blessed with an adorable baby now :) ) Anyways, we used to discuss this quite often. One day, when I was at the airport, she called me up excitedly, and said that she is pregnant. I requested her to call my wife and tell her this, as i would be getting on a plane and i would have to switch off my cell phone. I kind of missed the fact that this friend and my wife has not talked earlier at all  :):):)

So here is how the conversation apparently went :

Triiiiinng triiiiiing ....
My wife picks up the phone.

"Hi this is ...., is this Aparna?" a voice from the other side ( Aparna is my wife)
"Yes"

"Oh hi!" 2 seconds silence
(awkward silence, my friend suddenly realized this is the first time she is speaking to Aparna )

"Hi Aparna, I Know Jay, and I am Pregnant"

2 seconds silence this side of the line. and then, a fitting reply
"I also know Jay, but i am not pregnant......."

What happened when i came back from my trip is still classified information.

The Days of Exploration- and some research on the US healthcare regarding IVF

As I sit today for another one of my business trips to US, my mind wanders back to the days when we made the first trip.. We were quite confused, after the discussion with Dr. GHP, on what we should do. Should we cancel the trip and continue with the treatment, or should we go ahead and come back for the treatment?

Our decision was helped by Dr. GHP herself, when she mentioned that we could go and come back whenever we are ready for the procedure. And given that we had already committed for the trip, we decided to take the same. The next day, we were on a flight to US. But our minds, they never rest, do they?

Knowing the health care policies in US, we ended up doing some amount of research in doing this in US. As usual, our research starts with a search in Google. J The first thing to remember and know in US is that, if the Health Insurance firms do not cover the treatment, you probably would have to take multiple loans to cover the cost. ( I have heard stories of how some people had to sell off their properties in India to cover their IVF costs ). Anyways, in this line, there are 14 states who mandate that IVF procedures be covered in their Health Insurance Policy. Here is the page from National Conference of State Legislatures which list these 14 states. 

Here is also another page from fertility life lines.com – which lists 15 states. Louisiana is the state that is missing in the prev URL.

So, if your company is registered in the above 14 or 15 states then, your insurance policy will cover infertility treatments. But hold on before you get the smile on your face.. J - there is some small print: ( which is also listed in the fertility life liens page, but I thought I would add my own stuff )

• 1.       Check if your employer’s plan is “fully insured” or “self funded” . If they are fully insured, the company has to follow state laws, and if they are self funded, they are exempt from the state laws and only need to follow federal regulations.

 The impact? Even if your company is registered in any of the 14 states, but is self funded, then they do not have to cover the IVF costs. So please check this with your company.

• 2.       On a related note, I also heard from people that the employer’s policy should be written in one of the 14 / 15 states for it to cover the IVF costs.. But I couldn’t understand it too well.

• 3.       AS the next step, even if your company covers Assisted Reproduction, please check on what all procedures do they cover. There are multiple ways of getting this done, and IVF is just one way of it.  In addition to this, IVF is done in multiple cycles. You should also check on how many cycles are covered in the insurance.

btw, INCIID provides a list of employers who are infertility and adoption friendly: http://www.inciid.org/article.php?cat=statemandates&id=243

Though our company is registered in New Jersey ( one of the 14/15 states mentioned above ), we realized ours is a self funded policy and hence does not cover IVF costs.  Anyways, since we were residing near Boston, MA, we were consulting with the Boston IVF  – Dr. Alison  Zimon, who not only confirmed the diagnosis, but also put us through the insurance person to get us properly counseled. Since our residency was in MA, ( once again, one of the 14 / 15 states above ), we could apply for a personal insurance from any providers – Blue Cross Blue Shield, MA,  Harvard Pilgrim, MA  and one more provider (I forget name) 

The counselor urged us to speak to each of the co. and get the policy that we felt was applicable to us.  She mentioned that my spouse could decline my employer’s insurance and get a personal insurance.

We first called the Blue Cross Blue Shield Office, and here is where we had a surprise waiting for us. The representative told us that as per the latest health care reforms law passed, if I do have an employer’s insurance, I cannot decline it and take a personal insurance! I couldn’t then ( and still not able to ) get any corroboration from any data sources in the net for this.. If any of you have any data supporting this, please feel free to comment…

Also, about the cost of IVF, we were told that each cycle of IVF would cost around $12,000 - $8,000 for the procedure and $4,000 for the medicines and pharmacy charges. (I am basing this on memory alone, I could be wrong. Request you to please check this up with verified sources). The cost for this treatment in Prashant Clinic was about 1.5 lac for each cycle with about Rs 30,000 for contingency ( that would be approx  $ 4,000 per cycle – with the conv rate of about 45 Rs to 1 $ )

This made our choice quite simple. We decided to do the procedure back in India with Dr. GHP. We started to plan for this – logistically and financially. J

The Days of Anxiety

Every time somebody asks me the question "Do you have any siblings?" - I have always replied back with a smile "Well, my parents saw how i am turning out, and they realized that having one is enough for them!! :)"

I am sure that it is true, but 4 years back, this didn't stop my wife and i from attempting to have our own kid.  The kid turning out to be like me is not enough incentive for us not to add on to an already hopping, jumping population. But then, there seemed to be a problem. This kid was just refusing to be.

Having had got tonnes of forwarded emails about how stress affected everything from the growth of finger nails to the  color of the hair, we decided not to wait until the stars align and seek professional help. Today, when we  look back at what we did, it seems glaringly clear to us that this is where we made our first mistake. Anyways,  in all our naivete, we chose to consult a gynecologist. 

"There is no significant problem, ma. Nothing to worry about. It's just two years of your marriage - go ahead and keep trying" was her advice. Probably lulled by the sound of what exactly we wanted to hear, we did that. Months went past, nothing else happened. At one point, we crossed paths with someone who put her hand onto her chin and said "hmmmm.. shouldn't you try another doctor?" And we met a famous new dr - Dr. Kurien. This turned out to be even more interesting :)

It was extremely difficult to get an appointment with Dr. Kurien. You had to book about a month or so ahead if you wanted an appointment. With him, the advice remained the same - what did change was the time frame between two visits to the Dr. We moved on from being "recently married" to "oh yes, we are married" time-lines.

Meanwhile, life at home was becoming more strained and funny at the same time. There were moments of sudden remembrance of the days of the month causing hurried unexplained departures from friends' parties. There were days of "relaxation" and deliberate staying away from fights - marking this fight to be picked up on another day! Now when we look back at that, it's always with a smile.

My work decided to relocate me to the United States, meanwhile. Since "there was nothing significantly wrong with us and we should continue to try", we also thought a change of scene would do us good. I flew in to US a month ahead of when i would take my wife also there. During this one month, my dear wife resigned from her employment and decided to spend one month of vacation at her native place.  During this stay, her parents wanted her to meet their family Doctor -  a certain Dr. Vasanthi. That's when the news broke!

My wife was diagnosed with a situation called Endometriosis. Dr. Vasanthi adviced Laparoscopic surgery which would remove about 70% of the condition and then advised us to go ahead and try. So we went ahead with the laparoscopic surgery.

Few days after this, my friend called me to tell me a good news - his wife was to deliver their kid that night. Completely thrilled, my wife and I went to the hospital to keep him company and welcome the new born to this world. That's when we first saw this hospital called Prashant Clinic - Prashant Fertility Research Center, to be precise. We decided to consult the resident dr Dr. Geetha Hari Priya at the PRashant Clinic just for a second opinion.

If you have never been to Prashant Hospital, what i mention would seem scary, or probably funny. This doctor had about 100 people waiting to see her, at about 10:00 PM. As our visits became more frequent, we realized that was not a one night issue - the crowd exists every day, but Dr GHP, as she is referred to, will consult everyone waiting in the hall, irrespective of the time. Our patience was rewarded after a two hour wait - around midnight.

One look at our file and Dr. GHP simple mentioned "Oh this is stage 4 Endometriosis - the only way you can conceive is through an IVF procedure. "

We looked at each other. We had tickets to travel to US in about 28 hours from them. What should we do? Should we travel or no?
......

Those days Gone and these days going...

Few months back, my wife and I made through a trip through the Western Coast of  USA. A trip that opened our eyes to a lot of the wonder that is nature - there is no other way to describe standing spell bound on the edges of the Grand Canyon, gasping at the world's best preserved meteor crater and lot more adventures.

It also expanded our views on some of the man's advances. From seeing the tribal laws co-exist with federal laws peacefully to the most unbelievable realization of a dream - Viva Las Vegas!
( i hold no copyright to the image, i just used one that came up in Google search :) )


The trip took us through some of the most scenic drives and some very beautiful cities and places...

And i thought, i would go ahead and revitalize my blogs with detailed travelogues. Procrastination, unfortunately took over. And now, there is something that we are going through, which brings in anxiety and information is not that easy to locate. Hence i thought i would start writing again, trying to consolidate the information that i am gathering, so that it might help others in their quest for knowledge in the related field.

Blogging, here i come back again! :)

Fasten your seatbelts... and get started on your presentation :)

Earlier in my life ( when there were more black hair on my head… ah, well, when there were more hair on my head, period :) ), i used to think that the best time to let your creative juices flow into a ppt is during your flight - no one to disturb, no int

ernet to deviate you…
Well, you know what, since those days, many travel hours later, i have a very good learning. And here is a graphical representation of why…

If you were to show the time you spend on a flight as a rectangle - here is how i think the time gets sliced to multiple activities

:)

2 People and the Joy of Christmas!

Whenever we give gifts, my wife and I try our level best to give something that would make sense and meaning to our friends. For a couple celebrating their anniversary, we decided we would try and make a caricature and gift to them. In a mall nearby, my wife and i always see the cartoonist, drawing caricatures of people. ( Oh btw, have you ever tried standing behind the artist and enjoying the caricature? It is so much fun to make faces looking at the work in progress, as the "models" go from smiles, to frown to worry; as they try to judge how good the cartoon is based on your reaction :):) )

Anyways, we always get these brainwaves quite late in the day. Their anniversary had already come and gone and we thought we would give it to them when we meet them for the Christmas party. And of course, today was Christmas eve - the day all shops close sooner than often and people rush to their homes to celebrate Christmas eve with their loved ones. :) So, we rushed to the mall. We find the cartoonist having lunch and we mentioned we would be back in like 20 min or so giving him time to finish up lunch.

When we came back, we saw him just getting started on creating a cartoon of someone. In true spirit, thinking we would be next in line, we saw down next to him, watching humanity running around doing their last minute gift shopping. After few minutes, he turns and looks at us and says " Oh, you are back with the photo to be cartooned. But i am sorry, i am doing my last one for the day - i am sorry i wont be able to draw yours today."

We were a little taken aback... being such well planned people, we had of course not planned for any back up :)

"Huh? But you asked us to .... and we need it .. you were having lunch..." our pleads and protests fell on a totally flat face. He stopped drawing for a moment, with a lot of deliberation, turned towards us, shrugged and said "sorry, I can't do your job now!" . And then calmly went back to his work. That's it - it was like an instant dismissal.

As we walked away from him trying to figure out what should we make of our gift idea, when my wife told me - "why don't you at least try to convince him?"

"OK" i said, and i went back to standing right next to the artist. Didn't want to disturb him - you don't want him to pour his frustration with us on the cartoon that he was drawing for some one else :). After some time, he turns to be with a lot of frustration on his face and picks up his eye brows. It's a silent, but about to explode with frustration "yes?"

I put on my what i think is my best smile, "you know, this was meant as a gift to our friends, and we haven't planned for anything else.. Is there some way you can help us out?"

I have tried this question at various places, and have had various answers ranging from a sweet smile and "Oh, okay, let me just do that. its after all just ten minutes' to the same sweet smile and "I am really sorry - i wish i could help you, but i really can't..." etc - but truly, i haven't had the reaction that i got from him, from many others.

he just dropped his hands in frustration, rolled up his eyes, got a frown on his face "you know, its Christmas eve, and i just can't keep working like..."

I didn't event let him finish "you know what, it's okay, i am sorry. Merry Christmas!" We simply walked away. It was Christmas and he was probably expected to be in a party. But then, isn't it the season of cheer? If Santa could hop on and off these many homes with his big tummy and still laugh all the way with his loud Ho! Ho! Ho!, would a smile from the artist have hurt? And to top it all, it was his benefit all the way - I was going to pay him - It was not free service! Why was he being grumpy at me for that?

Anyways, this small twist had given us couple of hours of our time that we hadn't planned for. The malls were closed, and on an outside hope, we called our Fitness Studio to see if they were open ( Probably Santa needed a workout ? :) )

Surprising they were. The person who took the phone was Sam, who had registered us and so we knew by name. So, when we were signing in, we asked Sam out of curiosity - how come you are working now?

She smiles sweet and bright and said "Well, the company's policy said that we had to be open today till 10 PM. And it had to be either me or my manager. My manager has two small kids and i was definitely not going to keep him at work on Christmas eve - the kids will be heart broken!".

Both my wife and I stopped in our tracks - we were pleasantly surprised. We know how important Christmas is for people here and to see someone working late into Christmas eve, and that with such happiness and cheer was very surprising to us.

"You know, i don't have kids", she continued with the same smile and cheer. " so i decided to stay back. And anyways, i can always get home before midnight and be with my family including my nieces on Christmas"

We were simply bowled over. You know how some people in such situation has that tone of "I sacrificed my joy. Sympathize with me". That was not how Sam spoke. She was just happy that she was able to get her manager's kids happy. It wasn't a tone looking for sympathy or any response. She just said ti so full of smile, cheer and warmth!

Just two random people from across different walks of life - both faced with same situation, work a little extra when everyone else is going home. And look at what a difference a simple change in attitude brings. I wonder how i react in such situation! Wish we all had that ability, the attitude to be like Sam, seeing the positive side of things always and having the happiness of making others happy.

My wish to Santa this year was to make more them like Sam :)

Merry Christmas! Ho! Ho! Ho!

"Take me to your leader!..."

That seems to be the standard dialogue Aliens say every time they land on Earth.. In one of the quirky moods, i was watching the movie "The Day the Earth stood still" ( not the 1951 original, which i have watched quite many years earlier :) - but the 2008 Keanu Reeves Version. The Aliens come out and tell the awestruck humans - "Take me to your leader".. the story goes that we are first taken to the political leaders, who speak of protection, of defending earth and killing the aliens which does nothing to the alien intent of eliminating Earth ( as a punishment for all the bad things we are doing ). Later, the aliens are made in touch with a brilliant scientist who shares all the good things we are doing with the aliens and tell him, that we humans have a history of uniting and doing good things when we are at the tipping point. This alien visit is a tipping point and hence we will pull up our socks. Fortunately for us humans, Reeves as the messenger is convinced and saves the world.

I switched off the flickering tube and i wondered to myself, who truly are our leaders? Is it the politicians who govern, who administer rules and regulations and direct the country, and thus the world; or is it the brilliant, eminent minds - the scientists, the thinkers who lead the world through brilliance, inventions and discoveries?

I, for one, tend to choose the scientists. It is these minds, that convey the growth that we have collectively had. It is truly these minds that have shown us the way to move forward. These eminent brilliant minds are our true leaders. The rest of us, politicians, economists, common public have only either supported the growth or stayed out of their way.

Don't misunderstand me- the rulers, the governors are necessary, to ensure that the scientific thoughts are directed well, are regulated well, and change is managed well among the larger world.

Who would you take the aliens too, if you were stopped one day and told, in a metallic voice "Take me to your leaders" ???

( The movie posters are courtesy, wikipedia. I just loved the 1951 poster and could not but put it there for all of us to enjoy. :) )

Of Innovation and Daily life!

Have you ever moved your house? If you haven't, you should definitely ! :) -That is the day when a lot of worldly realizations hit you. Things such as: There are still a lot of people whose bills cannot be settled by credit card; and, remember that plastic card called the ATM card - well the daily limit for withdrawal of money from an ATM is not so big!! :) ( especially when point no.1 has come true for you :) )

Normally, needing cash would mean getting hold of your account number - which beyond being printed in that obscure place in the cheque, we never bother imprinting in our mind. Then going to the bank, getting hold of the withdrawal slip and filling up all the numbers; withdrawing money. ( and if the cheque books and stuff are well packed by your better half, that simple task of getting the account number can be a very formidable task :) )

So here i was, in the exact situation that i mentioned above. All my documents were well packed and there was no way that i could convince my wife to open the package. It was easier to face the sarcastic look of the cashier while i ask her for the number of my account. As i walked into the bank, i was in for a very interesting and innovative surprise. ( btw, Can a surprise be innovative? :) )

There were no withdrawal slips or deposit slips!!!

Every counter had a card swipe machine in front of them. The same machine which you find in countless merchants - which is so familiar at the billing counter of any shop. Well, each counter had this machine. So, when you want to withdraw money, you simply swipe your card, key in your pin number and tell the amount that you need to the teller. She authenticates your id, enters the amount and you are rich!!!

That's it! Don't you think it is an excellent innovation? Of course, it does make it extremely painless, less time consuming and easy for the user, also imagine what it does to the bank... It doesn't have to maintain another set of database about the withdrawal slip numbers. they don't have to build logistics around printing and delivering those slips .. I think its simply great.

I have always been a sucker for using technology for simple day to day life activities. And i couldn't stop but keep marveling at this simple innovation that has made the process so simple. Another similar innovation that i have seen is in the Universal studio, where they have used fingerprint based biometrics for lockers.

They don't allow you into some of the rides in the Universal studio if you have a bag or a purse etc. And there are lockers available where you can store your belongings if you want to go to these rides. But lockers have locks; and together with it are those small things that have a tendency to get lost so easily- called keys. And i am sure the park management did not want to worry about lost keys, forgotten keys etc - So they had a very simple plan. They connected all the lockers to a central computer. You go to the screen, scan your fingerprint, and pick a free locker. the computer open the locker for you. Put your stuff in, and close the door - it locks. To open the locker, scan your fingerprint, computer identifies your locker number and opens it for you. After two hours, the lockers are auto opened ( if i remember right ) so nobody can take a locker for more than 2 hours!

I thought these instances of leveraging technology to help day to day activities are absolutely brilliant examples of out of the box thinking and innovation. No wonder more and more companies are asking the users to submit the ideas that they can convert to functionalities in their product.

Way to go, technology! :)

Of Growing Wisdom and Going Hair!

They say as age comes, so does wisdom. They also say, that as youth goes, so does the hair on your head.

I definitely don't know about wisdom, but my hairlines are receding fast enough to prove my age!

I cross one more year off my list this month!! :)

Psst - Who are these "they"? I would certainly like to meet them! :)

B a a a a b u u u u j i i i i i !!!!!!

New York city is a wonderland. The lights, the hustle, the people - it just grows on you! Our first visit to this wonderful city was in the biting cold winter. And so, it was but natural to try and visit there when the days are long, and the dun god stays with us a little longer!

And this time, we wanted to be tourist-y. And we saw this open-top buses going around and decided that it would be the best way to see all of New York. ( And it would also be the safest way to keep our spouses at a good distance from all those shops! :) ). So, in the mass of people swirling all around us, we found the uniformed sales guy of one of the open top bus tour company. and then we patiently stood around him as he opened the brochure, showed us all the routes, and all the additional things of the plan. My eyes, were going all around the brochure, looking for the one most important thing, the cost of this! ( I am pretty sure that all the other's eyes were also going round and round searching for the same! :) ). Finally found it - there it was, hidden among the colorful "!" and the "!!" - the number written after a $sign. It was 53$. A quick mental calculation ( backed by one of us who stepped back and did on his iphone :) ) arrived at $318 for 6 of us.

The rep was quite happy, and like an experienced rep, gave us our 6 seconds of private thoughts discussing the total cost. When he came back, we had decided - we were going to go ahead with it.

Credit cards were handed over, and the rep was sliding them through the machine. And one of us couldn't resist ask this ( for the rest of us, it was running in our minds :) - we just couldn't bring this out! ) " So, we are 6 of us, what discount do you give us? do we get a consolidated 6 tickets at $300?"

We were ready for a frowned "No", a rough shake of head, even feigning ignorance of our question. But nothing could have prepared us for the response. It was a classic Russell Peters moment. :)

The sales rep looked up with a beaming smile, and said "Baaaboooojiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!" It was an instant recognition of where we came from!. I couldn't but help bursting out with laugh! "No baaabujiiiii.. we cant do it!!! :) Babuuuuuuuuuuuuujiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!" :):):)

The humor in the situation hit me instantly. Imagine New York City visited by 1000's, nay, 10s of 1000's of people everyday, and one question can spark recognition of an entire set of people! Brilliant. The most intriguing part was, as much as were we embarrassed at being called Babuji, i don't think the sales rep meant it in a derogatory way. It was just a friendly conversation. There was no sarcasm, there was no derogation, no humiliation - just a good sense of humor and a conversation between friends.

We did get the tickets - without any discount, and we did make the city tour. And i think this incident made it as much enjoyable as any other!

Recently, i had another chance to enjoy this moment. One of our friends had moved back to India form US and had given us the responsibility of selling off their car child seats. We had an enquiry about this from an India couple. We had our own travel plans that day and hence decided to meet them on our way, near their place of stay.

The meeting was in downtown Boston, quite near the waters. And my BlackBerry app told me that the only ends that residents of that area would try to meet might be of their clothes :) - It was quite a well off area. Few minutes later a Mercedes Benz pulls up behind us. One of those new swanky version, with in built GPS and all the bells an whistles. The potential buyers get out of their car, smiles and pleasant hellos are exchanged. They examine the car seat, the retail price of which are in multiple 100 $$. We had them listed for a throwaway price of 20$. We were more interested in getting that to people who could use them than having them stocked at our house.

Back to this couple, who live in a posh area, travel in luxury cars and hopefully will find good use of the car seat they decided to take from us. The seat is moved to their car. The lady takes her bag, opens the purse, and then looks up to us and asks

"Is it negotiable?"

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuuujjjjjjjjjjjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!" :):):)

Happy Onam!

Come August / September, there is a smile in every Malayali's face and heart. It is the official excuse for us to eat, sing and be merry. Why, you ask us? Its because it is Onam - Kerala's own festival of Harvest!

There are things that we want very well defined - like the color and the feel of our clothes, like the dimensions of our house; and there are some things which are never defined - like our festivals. It simply means has its own unique meanings to everyone. And conveniently, we all take it to mean what we want it to mean!

For foodies (like me :) ), it is an excuse - and an official one at that - to eat more ( lovingly refered to as Ona Sadya ), for kids - it is an excuse not to study and to expect new clothes, for the new city bred middle class - it is a formal excuse to splurge at an exquisite restaurant ( and not the same one that they went all week, anyways :) ), and for those menfolk, nay, married menfolk, whose better halves control their reach to their favorite bitter liquids, it is an official excuse to bring out those bottles and enjoy them with their friends!

I have lots of fond memories (and quite so many almost withered photographs) of my own Onam celebrations. The first thing to think of during Onam are the pookkalams - the design made by colorful flowers. In those times, entrepreneurs hadn't commercialized our lives as much, so, for us short kids in shorts, it was nothing short of an expedition in the early morning to get ( pick, jump and pick, jump and steal :) ) as many flowers as we could get ( and get them before other kids get them or the neighbor wakes up to safeguard his little garden :) ). Once the collection is over, you hand it over to the experts - the parents, the uncles and aunts who would then use all their imagination to make pretty designs on the floor with them. Some geometrical, some color patterned - but there was one thing that was always there - they were always pretty and beautiful!

Almost in all the Onams that i can remember, i got the Onakkodi - the new clothes! My face would lighten up at the sight of those new clothes and i would try to be in them in no time flat. There were no brands, no fancy labels, but the just the fact that you are wearing something new was more than any other joy! There was only one more joy, that could overpower this one - the one that is caused by the lifting smell of the OnaSadya!

More than the varieties of food ( and the pappadoms - oh the pappadoms! - the crispy crispy fried wafers! ) it was the variety of people around that used to make me happy - All the uncles, the aunts, the parents, the grand parents - it was an occasion when the whole big house would turn into a big home by the loud conversations, the laughter and the happiness. Those few days, everyone would forget all the trouble of the day to day life - the togetherness would cover all that.

After the Sadya, after everyone has cleaned up, slowly one by one everyone would try to catch up few winks of sleep. The entire family would be in the same room, lying on the cold red oxide floors or on bamboo mats, chitchatting with each others, the voices slowly, lazily transitioning into silence or light snores.

You know how these politicians spoil everything for you? :) They had my parents convinced (like pretty much all the other parents, i guess ) that good education is a must have for all growing kids. It was already bad enough with the milk and vegetables, now education too ? :( Anyways, my parents were convinced and they took me off to Ranchi, where my father was employed, to make me join a bigger school and continue my studies. But then, to their credit, they did keep the tradition of Onam live, in our hearts and in our home!

Onam was still the day to expect good food and new clothes. It was just that the North Indian School mgmt found no reasons to give a week of holidays to the kids for some king visiting the Southern State of Kerala. ( Don't know legend? Look here! ) We might have moved physically away, miles up north, from the family in Kerala - from all those uncles, aunts, grand parents, but we had found our family here too. The colony where we lived had a very healthy group of malayalees an Onam was a reason for the dearest friends to come together, cook and eat the Sadya together. I still remember all the fun, laughter and cheer that the crowd would have at our house, people crowding to cut vegetables, to cook - the only difference, for me , was to convince my father that Onam was reason enough not to study ( I think the above said politicians had influenced by father much more than my grandparents - so it was as much more difficult to convince )

Those were the days the telephone numbers still 3 digits or at best 4, the TVs had antennas and the only network signal strength that we were all worried about were the Doordarshan TV strength! So the Onam was also the time write many letters - to all the family and near and dear friends, not a real substitute for the chitchatter while sliding to sleep in the cold red oxide floor, but it would convey all the happiness, all the cheer and the closeness that we felt with the same strength!

"Onam weekend" also made its official entry - the weekend when the Malayalee Association would hold the Onam festivities in the community center - cultural activities that included a Pookkalam competition, a very elaborate OnaSadya and a screening of a Malayalam film ( which almost always turned into a fashion show to showcase who had the best looking clothes :) )

Education or no education, it was not stopping me from growing up. towards my college time, the Indian govt, gracefully accepted my father's request for a transfer and relocated us to Chennai - In south India, neighboring our home state, Kerala. Time might have changed a lot of things, our address, our outlook, our clothes and shoes - but Onam still held a very special place in my hart. Along with the faded jeans, the graphic t shirts and Michael Jackson the city life had brought along its own influences - and so did it bring compromises on the Onam celebrations. The Pookkalams were restricted to the "live telecast of the Pookkalam competition from our studios". It was no more "cool" to wear shiny new clothes.. :). But one thing remained - The OnaSadya ( with the pappadums, oh those crispy fried pappadums ). Since it would have been such a drag to prepare the elaborate Sadya for just the three of us in the family, my friends were usually invited for the lunch. Some of them, throughly enjoyed it, but for some others, it used to be a refresher course in "100 different ways to use coconut in food items!" :) With my father being the eager host that he is, he would always ensure that the "guests" always eat to his, which usually was much more than their, fill :) After the fulfilling food, all of us would just crash out on the couch, and my mother would walk in with the small bowls of Payasam!! How much ever full we were, we would all invite this with smiles!

After the heavy Sadya and the payasam, my friends and I would chitchat about girls, about classes and making plans of catching up in the evening. The evening was to be my "treat" in any of the local chaat shops. The official Onam weekend still remained, but transitioned to a eve of Onam festivals at our college hostel. More of cooking, more of fun, more of festivities. I still remember one Tug of War competition which was between the lecturers and the admin staff of the college - and in the middle, the rope just gave way. As the lecturers piled on one another, there was a rush from the "organizing committee" to the kitchen!!! :)

As much as i was growing, so was technology and so were the digits in the phone numbers - they had increased to 7 digits from those 3 and 4 digits. One of those 7 digits also adorned our wooden cabinet. The long letters were now replaced by the long set of digits that we had to dial to speak to each of our friends and family. As much as the Inland Letter would limit the words in the letter, the fear of a huge telephone bill would ensure short wishes and small conversations! The only letter that still remained was the long distance aerogramme which would carry our wishes through the letter to our relatives living across the seas. making an overseas call would have tremendous impact on the telephone bills and were as yet forbidden acts at home! Along with these 7 digit wonders, some more things had changed, Doordarshan had given way to the Stars and the MTVs of the world. So as my parents and i cleaned up after the lunch, and lied down in the cold concrete floor of our flat, we would turn to the TV to watch the "Onam Special Malayalam Movie" !! Slowly, the conversations in the movie would transition to our light snores! :)

the nuclear family slowly gave way to the family of friends - and that was really a big group once i completed my education and moved on employment. Onam pookkalams moved back into my real life from those telecasted in the TV's - but there were slight differences though. Those homely events were now called "Corporate Motivational Events" and moved to the tiled and marbled floors of our offices. The search for the bright colorful flowers in the misty chilly mornings with friends were replaced by vroom filled motorcycle trips in the previous night to the crowded hot dusty flower bazaars. The fear of getting caught while nipping flowers from our neighbors Garden were replaced by the fear of not getting enough budget from our bosses to buy them! The simple eloquent color patterns were replaced by complex designs, downloaded from the Internet. The child's simple and wide-eyed "oooh - look at our neighbors designs, that is so pretty" were replaced the youth's competitive ' Look at them, their design has more colors, lets also get some more colors! - Lets google for more designs!!!!"

The thrill of wearing new dresses had transitioned to a fancy dress show aptly titled, Traditional dress days by our employers! This bought the comical melange of traditional "Mundu" being worn by very un-traditional youngsters so used to the jeans and baggies! So mundu's usually would be accompanied by a tightly worn leather belt around the waist to ensure no mishaps! :) And there would definitely be one of those jokers, who would conveniently forget that bright colored underpants would show up through the simple attire :). Colorful Saris and Salwars fought for attention among shiny silk Kurtas in the office space that would usually witness a flurry of light blue and white shirts! Even the OnaSadya had its own transition. The lovely aromas of home cooked food were replaced by wide eyes of those beautiful Sadya photos in the restaurant websites. The happy crowding around the dining table by the family was replaced by the still happy crowding at the local restaurant among thousand other folks!

Along with the wallets ( that would pay for the elaborate OnaSadya ) that would be artfully placed at some place in the mundu, shirt pocket or the belt,every person was also adorned with one more weapon - that of the mobile phones!. The short conversations after the long list of digits got changed to cryptic text messages sent as bulk to 523 names in the address book. The joy of hearing the family's voice in the phone was replaced by the joy of hearing the continuous "beep-beeps" as more and more friends and family sent the same messages to your phone!

Times changed, practices changed - and yet the festival keep coming back to us year after year.

Here i am now, sitting in a foreign country, looking at a blinking monitor as mails keep dropping in. It's just another work day here. Cars ply carrying their coffee drinking drivers to offices, people walk past each other engrossed in their BlackBerrys. A bowl of steamy Oats cereal sits on my table as i rewind my fond memories in my head. Feels very funny to look out and not see even a small sign of a festival. In India, irrespective of where you are, you could always look out nd see some sign of a regional festival - a corner temple having too many sandals outside, a sweet shop having a crowded stall, a child walking gleefully in new shiny dress holding her father's hands, loud conversation snips carried by the wind talking with laughter and carrying the wishes - there would be something that infect you with the pleasantness and cheer of the festival.

As i turn my gaze from the window, i can hear my wife in the other room, using the latest technology of internet based calling to wish all our family and friends a Happy Onam. No worry of a huge bills, no cryptic messages - the same long winded talks that you would have had if the family was sitting next to each other.I Can hear small snips of her conversations - wishing families happy Onam - inquiring about the Sadya - and i am suddenly drawn into a feeling of goodwill and cheer. Drawn to the togetherness that has somehow traveled across the globe from our family to wrap its warm hands around us.

It lasts a fleeting instant to be destroyed by the continuous "beeps" of new emails buzzing in. But it is enough - it makes my day and fills my face with a smile, as i alt-tab to my email window and start my day.. "Thanks for the mail - but i am not sure....."

Happy Onam Folks!!!!

Happiness - found at a subway station.

At the Harvard square t station in Boston, there is this street performer playing guitar and singing. We've seen them in so many places, in so many costumes.

But there's something different about her - beyond the fact that she is singing in Chinese. She seems incredibly happy just to be there and to be singing. No, I mean not just a smile, but from the heart. How does she do it?

Around her I find the contrast- people upset that it's hot outside, people upset that their mobiles don't have network signal, people who are upset, I don't know why! And me too, I am upset, for a silly fight at home.

Am almost embarrassed to look at her - how can i be upset when my life is so good? upset enough to spoil my day at something so silly? Am sure she has her won issues and problems - no man ever was and is without problems - but she simply choses to be happy. And here i was, choosing to feel miserable on a very very silly spat! As i kept looking at her smile, at some point, i realized that i was smiling too - my frown had disappeared!

With a loud racket, my train had arrived and while walking towards the train, dropped some money onto her box. With the same smile, she said - thank you!

No, thank YOU lady, thank YOU!!

Super Panda to the rescue !!! :) :) - A Very different Experience on internet purchase

I had a very pleasing experience on one of my internet purchases. I had ordered ink for my printer from an online store www.yoyoink.com.

I had no previous experience from the store - had zero-ed in on them based on the lowest price for the cartridges based on google results. So, apart from a decent, hassle-free shopping and shipping experience - i did not have any further expectations.

The user experience was good, and the shopping transaction completed easily. Shipping was also good - the cartridges arrived today by 6 days. But the best was yet to come.

Imagine my pleasant surprise, when i opened the package, and found a lovely handwritten post-it note from Lance - thanking me for the order and wishing me good times with the ink!! That was such a unexpected human touch - that i loved it!



It was such a nice change from the typical CRM mails that i get from many other big shops on the net - Keep up the great work Team yoyo!! - Next time my ink dries out - i know which URL i will click on!! :) It feels good to know that somebody actually looked through the order and packed them for you - and took pains to drop you a personal note - Especially during these times, where even the person at the fast food counter where you go every day, doesn't bother looking at your eyes - Something at the billing counter always is more attractive :)

And if you haven't tried Yoyo - i would recommend you give them a try - They not only deliver well - they might even bring a smile to your face on a gloomy rainy day! :)

An Ode to an Unknown Mentor

I read through a newsletter today that Rita Mulcahy, PMP has passed away. For anyone who has written the PMP exam knows that Rita Mulcahy's books were almost the bible for us - and a benchmark of how well we might fare in the exam.

I didnt know Rita. I have no clue of how she looked, how she thought and how she worked. But at the same time, her works has brought about another achievement for me, another ceritification for me. It must be amazing to know that what you produce is affecting 100's of; nay; 10,000s of people who wrote this exam.

I wonder if all those of us who have used her knowledge and the result of her hard work - would know, or even care enough to say - oops! Here was a person who had directed me, who had taught me quite a few valuable lessons - and that person, is no more!!

May her soul Rest in Peace.

Announcement about her death from the RMC site:

"Rita Mulcahy, Founder of RMC Project Management and the best-selling project management author of all-time, passed away on Saturday, May 15th 2010, from complications related to a five-year battle with Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC)"

What motivates People?

Through the tweet of someone whom i follow - i read ( actually heard ) a very interesting piece about "what motivates people to work better". ( You can hear it too at http://blogs.psychcentral.com/channeln/2010/05/what-motivates-people-to-work-better.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ChannelN-PodcastsPoweredByOdiogo+%28Channel+N+%2B%29 ) Even if you didnt like the actual message - you would love the way it is rendered through animation. Awesome!

Anyways - one of the key points mentioned was that in cognitive task ( for those of us lay men - it means that includes thinking, creativity and not mechanical repeatable tasks ) money is not a motivator. But to me, the most important point in the whole story was - "Pay People Enough to take the issue of money off the table" _Once you do that, then money is no more a motivator.

That to me is a brilliant thought. And a very subtle fact. And i guess it applies to all levels, all areas. If there aer things weighing down in you mind - your aim isonly to somehow make it happen. Once that is achieved, then you can chase your mind and your will.

I am sure a lot of my friends would say - waht's so big about this thought and tease me that i make a big point of it. But to me, i think this is a very important point that we can all use in our day to day work life as an important way to motivate our team.

Know what material desire is weighing down each of your team member. Use a solution to those problems as a incentive. Once that is achieved, do another search to identify what can really satisfy the sould of the team member. change your incentive plan to the new carrot.

Motivating your team is never a point of time exercise - It is an evolving activity and needs you to be always connected to your team!!

"I did something wierd today!"

And that would be wierder than taking up the mobile phone and sending a tweet mentioning this to half the world? :)

I was reading Dracula ( again! :) ). The whole book is written as a collection of diary notes - some by Jonathan Harker, some by Mina HArker and some by other characters. Stoker is able to simply pull the whole narrative together through these posts!

I was wondering how the book would have been written had it been Dracula 2.0...

As the train goes chug chugging to the carpathian mountains, Jonatahn would open up his laptop and start typing his blog - The Journey to the Carpathian, part 1. His fears, the wierd happening would all be noted in the blog. HIs lover, wife to be Mina would get a minute to minute update on his travel ( She would probably even comment - JOnathan, pull down the window of the train, you would catch cold! )

And then Jonathan would open up google maps and drop a pin on the current location where he is- Just so, that he can tell others that "oh, well, you know, i have been to all corners of the world, blimey!"

As he gets down and the localites give him the cross, the garlic and the other things to ward off evil spirits, he would take a video of the same using flip and directly upload that to youtube ( Fetching a comment from musiclova2145: "awesome video , dude!! Can i add some background songs to this?" )

And as they mention their wishes in the native tongue, Jonathan would open the translator app in iPhone or Droid and convert what they say to English. Now he is definitely a more informed man!!!

And i am sure he woul have been more informed about Castle Dracula, as he would have read about it in Wikipedia ( where else :) )

The Dracula Bite Video has a million hits in the last one month and has gone viral!
eBay suddenly has a lot more Garlic sellers..
Craigslist has seen a spurt in a lot of classified ads for night life lovers...

Would have beena pretty some novel - Dracula 2.0 :)

The Chronicles of Jay-nia… Akkare Akkare Akkare

"Akkare Akkare Akkare" is the name of a very entertaining Malayalam movie from the 80's – telling us the story of two bungling detectives and their escapades to find a thief in the US of A. I thought this would be the apt title for this serried relasting to my travel and the bungling adventures that I would ( I wrote might and then replaced by would, am sure I would have some comical adventures J ) have during my maiden trip to the US of A.

29^th Jan was the day – And what a long day it was.. I started my flight from namma Singara Chennai on the early morning of 29^th – AS early as 1:50 AM. Someone told me that I would love the flight as the Airways has personal in flight entertainment. But after trying to watch couple of Malayalam movies, which I did not cross half an hour, and one Hindi movie, which I braved for half an hour, I gave up inflight entertainment and and gave in to my personal in flight entertainment – that of dreaming though my sleep. J After flying ten hours I landed at a very pretty Brussels, the transit port, at 7:50 AM 29^th January. People had warned me that to keep my warm clothes at hand, but the big me had a lot of belief in my own warmer – the layers of fat all around my waist – when would they come handy to me, if not now ? J - So I had my overcoat, safely packed inside my cabin baggage. Even when the captain announced an outside temperature of – 2 degrees C, I smiled at him, looked around majestically – I will show you all – what it is to be fat, and happy J

Ladies and gentleman, -2 deg C is extremely cold. Brrrr….extrrrremely. It was nice to breathe out chilled air at first, but thwn the chill grips your legs, you know what it is. I almost ran inside the airport. I knew a long walk loomed in front of me, but the funniest part of this part of my travel was about to start. The cops directed me to a security check. They had these convoys next to which these shallow wide rectangular plastic baskets were stacked. My Indian Sense of look and learn were at my highest. The look and learn was aided by this security lady who instructed me to put my bags, shoes, wallet, watch, belt in the bins and pass though the metal detector. And I did that. I kept my laptop bag in the carousel, took a plastic bin, kept my wallet, keys, phone in it. Then I took off my shoes, kept in the basket, and then took off my belt ( I could almost feel the music and perform a full monty :P ), dumped them in the bin and I was just about to walk through the metal detector, that couple of questions took me by surprise. The conversation went as follows:

" Is that your laptop?"

Nod. In Indian language, it means yes. I am hoping that these men in blue would also understand. They did.

"Get it off, you know, Naked"

I was like WOW! It took me couple of nano seconds to realize that if they are gonna get me naked, they would also get the lovely looking girls naked. Wow, what a job! Dirty mind !! J Then the next thought struck – what the hell, Naked ? Out here, in public in this airport. Well, Security is security – couldn't question them, could I, so I got my reluctant fingers around my jeans button, and the guard looked at me strangely and shouted "Grab your laptop bag before it gets inside the scanner" – I did – and then he said – "now get the laptop out of the bag, and keep it separate "… Then It dawned on me. It was not me that he wanted naked, it was my laptop J

Anyways, there were no further issues, and I passed successfully to the gate of the connecting flight. And then I remembered, I had to call Shashank, my friend when I landed in Newark Airport. And my phone had been warning me of "Low Battery" every time I switch it on, so I had to depend on public pay phone when I landed there. I did have some dollars with me, which I had converted when starting from Chennai, but had no Quarters of Coins. And my Indian ingenuity started to work again.

Looking very innocent, I meandered inside a airport shop. Picked up a pack of Mint drops priced at Euro 1.5 – so that should approx be about USD 3 and I gave it to the counter. And with the item, asked her, so- can I pay you in dollars. She was like, sure, you can! I was immensely happy with this ingenious plot that i had hatched. I gave her a ten $ note. She converted the currency on her machine, and … retuned me change in Euros! I was taken aback and told her, madam – I gave you dollars, so you give me dollars back. ( And I was thinking, Ha! She thought she could cheat me ? J ) She looked me and said, sir, we only accept dollars to help our customers, we are nto allowed to transact in dollars. So I can only give you Euro's back.

So there I was, sitting in Brussels Airport, looking around a snow covered landscape, and a brilliant orange sun rising slowly in front me. I am sure most of the people around me thought, I was looking a little dull because of the cold, how could they have realized that I was not 10 $ short, and about 4 euro and some change heavier ? And of course, add to that a pack of Mint drops for which I ahd paid INR 150 !!!!! For 150 rupees, I can walk into a restaurant back home, have a sumptuous lunch, and they might have given me mint mouth freshers free after it !!!! Sigh !

Another eight hours in the flight to Newark Airport. The flight took me across the United Kingdom, and the ocean.. From snow covered lands to a large water mass. More attempts to watch Hindi movies and Malayalam movies. No success there. Couldn't take it more than one hour. Welcomed my own personal dream station for quite some time. Landed in Newark Airport at 12:40 PM Jan 29^th.

There is one thing that I realized immediately. It is impossible to feel lost in the airport. All you have to do, is to just follow the signs. I walked to the immigration department, got my entry stamped and entered the land. And of course, there was the shoes, jacket, ( I had my jacket on me, by then J ) wallet, purse show again – but no mention of the nakedness J. I was at the carousel, waiting my my bog box, and I heard a dog yelp at my feet. A little used to weird happenings by then, I looked around to see a policewoman pointing at my cabin luggage and making a dog scent it. Aha – you can't beat me – I have read enough about getting food and stuff to America, so I have nothing there. I had the satisfied look on my face after the quick inspection and the dog, slightly unsatisfied. J

It was good to see Shashank at the airport. Real nice of him to have come to pick me up. He took me to the guest house, made me feel comfortable and then we went out for lunch. I liked what I was seeing. The entire streets, lined with snow, chilly weather – it was definitely different from the hot and sweaty Chennai. Most of the people living there would have hated it, but as a visitor, I loved it. Shashank drove me around to Newark and we located a Thai restaurant, which he said was really nice. It really was. After a good lunch, we walked out to the street.

We had just started walking, and we heard a "phuutt" behind my head. I turned back immediately and realized that someone had thrown a block of ice at me. We saw couple of African American teenagers on the other side of the street, running down laughing among themselves. Hooliganism, it seems, does not spare the best of countries! I guess I was jus plain lucky not to have got hit. Anyways, life continues – I had to reach Minneapolis that night getting ready for a presentation and Shashank dropped me at the airport. He had made all arrangements – had booked my tickets, had got me an accommodation at the Hilton – It was really nice of him to have done all that. If he is going to pamper me like that, I am definitely going to Enjoy my life in here J

Achchaa-een, I Love You!

NOvember is a month of "looking forward to" for a lot of people. The Entire city of Chennai looks forward to it's "Marghazhi" festival -a whole month of music, kutcheri's and festivities in the next month. And very similarly, my family looks forward to the coming together of the different members. My mother's side, all five siblings make their attempts to get together at our village house during this month. And all of us, the nephews and nieces make our own attempt to join the festivities. The more the merrier.

This time, one such nephew was the highlight. Our man - named "Hari", who currently pursues his PhD in the US of A was staying in his "tharavad" after a very long period and we were all looking forward to meeting him. In these times of togetherness, every night becomes a night of our partying, in our own specific ways... Probably not partying in it's own sense, but these aer nights that grow old with merry chitchatter, merry singing and a lot of open hearted discussions, debates and fights. This time, there was some tequila to go around, and after shooting down some of those Tequila, Hari was in a state of Euphoria. And in this state, a lot of confessions came up - Oen of such ones being "Achch-aaeen, i love you!!" Achch-aaeen being the sluurred accented pronounciation for "Achchan" the malayalam word for "Father"

Though i spent quite some amount of time and energy getting to that title, this blog is not about that trip - It is about something that happened today, but something that rides along with Hari's sentiment..

During one of her housekeeping duties today, my wife discovered an item of undisclosed source in one of our almirahs. A very pretty, flower printed "Bombay Dyeing" bedsheet. For those of us who are a part of the lastcentury in India, would know that Bombay Dyeing bedsheets are a statement of refinement. They are prtty, and they are well woven. Though i was happy seeing that, i was not happy at my lie of questions regardign this specific sheet - Who bought this? How did this come here?

Sunday afternoons are definitely not a time of activity for my poor grey cells ( Am not saying that it is, on the other days, but atleast they try! :) ) And i said, we would have bought it in one of our shopping trips. She was not to be bought into that argument. It was bombay dyeing, man - and by the feel of it, must surely be costly - How could we have spend on such an extravaganze? With raised eyebrows, she then asked a million dollar question - Would my father have bought this for us ?

We called my father in the evening, and our man staunchly refused to accept that he had kept the same here. Finally, my mother agreed that yes, it was my father!

That's my father for you. Apparently, i had mentioned some day that i was a big fan of all those terrific Bombay Dyeing bedsheets that he used to get home, and i was not having any success in getting such wonderful sheets now a days. He had just nodded that day. During his next trip, he made sure that he bought one of such sheets and without telling us, hid that in our almirah.

Today, while just browsing through the shelves of the local bookstore in Chennai, The Landmark, i saw a photoframe that said " To my Father" written in typical Archies Greetings patterns. If i ever bought this for my father, he would probably laugh and shout at me for wasting my money. And, i guess, as usual, he would be right.

For it does not need any special artifacts, any special greetings to let your feelings show. The warm lights, the fuzzy hugs that we see in the ads do not make up the fantastic chord of caring that really, truly make the relation that is a father.

I hope some day, i learn to be as good as father.